Not so daily thinker

Sometimes i have a thinking what it’s like to be God.I try to understand why am i here…on this earth walking and breathing on the God point of view.

If only me in this whole universe,maybe i cannot find the way to understand that i am exist and all powerfull.That’s why i have to create something that not me to understand about me.Like i cannot understand heat if i cannot know cold.So i create human,like myself i put them with all the power i can muster…a little other me.

But of course they must be less than me, but they have all the power to become like me, to understand that they are part of me.I have to give them a blank start so they can feel the progress as they grow towards me.So i, in them, can feel what it’s like to be not me, to know me.

bottom line is: you have to be less than everything to know that you are everything.

Fiuhh….that’s kinda confusing does it ?

Well, that’s for today thought about what God want in me (the God in me wants to know).

Head hurt….cannot think straight…too close to the truth perhaps….maybe they will call me a blasphemer.

I write this blog because of my anger.I hate when somebody try to get an answer to a "Do you love me" Question.Why ? Because so many times i heard them saying it…but i don’t feel it.Vice versa and they don’t feel it.

This is a tips made for those of you which are numb and only care about words (there are 4 more sense in your body except your ears):

1. Look at her/his eyes…it’s the window of the soul.

2. He/She call you (or sms) for a weak excuses.a couple times a day (depend on the access he/She get to do this).

3. He/she ask about how are you doing, do you eat properly,what do you eat for luch/dinner/supper etc.(giving a lot of attention).

4. He/She tells you and share about he/she feel.(specially man doesn’t feel comfortable to share his feeling).So if he tell you about how he feel means he is comfortable enough with you.

5. He/She try to give you something in your daily life (doesn’t have to be material maybe just a word of wisdom or support) often.

6. He/she want’s to eat with you,watch movie with you,sit close to you,stand up for you when you are in trouble etc.

7. He/She want’s to touch you….a primitve yet effective gesture to know that he/she care about you.

8. He/she try to make a you a special things that only she/he knows good at (Poet,cake,song etc).

9.He/she try to involved you with the thing she/her likes doing.

10. He/She try to give you (or share with you) the best of everything He/She got.

Please add this list if you are agree with me..or shout at me if you don’t agree.

KAU DATANG

sejenak hatiku meragu
suara hati ku  membisu
kehampaan kian terasa
akan sesuatu tlah tiada

kurindukan suasana baru
harapan merubah hidupku
mengisi kehampaan diri
tuk mengganti yang tlah pergi

kau datang seketika
mengejutkan jiwa
sehingga ku terlena
sekejap ku merasa
kau datang
demi kebahagiaanku
yang ku cari
kau datang demi kebahagiaan ku
yang ku cari ooo

semenjak kau dalam hidupku
kau berikan semua dirimu
seolah tlah dihanyutkan
didalam arus kesepian

kau datang seketika
mengejutkan jiwa
sehingga ku terlena
sekejap ku merasa
kau datang
demi kebahagiaanku
yang ku cari
kau datang
demi kebahagiaanku
yang ku cari

-= Trie Utami dan Krakatau Band =-

Note:

Lagu ini emang asik banget buat di dengerin.Salah satu lagu romantis favorit sejak gue bisa mengerti apa itu cinta.

To uderstand that love is come from your least expected moment in time.

It’s a tip for woman so they can have a boyfriend…or friend.Mind you this tips have to be used over and over again.Like any of simple statistic law,the more you see them and they see you the bigger the chance you will get one of them ^_^.

1. HAVE A LONG HAIR

A Typical man like to see woman with a long hair.If a long hair woman walk in front of a may,man tend to like to see her face.

2. BE CLEAN AND SMELL NICE

Woman who have a clean body and nice smell tend to get a man attention.You don’t have to bathe yourself with perfume,but smell nice is not a pain also.

3. WORK YOURSELF OUT

Nice and lean body will increase the chance a man will look at you.So shake your bun…hun !

4. WEAR NICE OUTFIT

Try to wear the outfit that you look best, it doesn’t have to be open everywhere but make sure it show’s the best of you.It doesn’t have to be expensive also.

5. Read books and learn new things

It’s true that most men only see woman from physical appearance,but woman with ample of knowledge sure can make a man feel comfortable with.Especially when woman know the world of man (mechanics,Sports,games and Science).It’s really a plus sign for man.

6. Increase your self respect and throw your self pity attitude

It’s a soft skill a woman must master if she want’s to get a man for herself.Woman tend to wait for something to come then act more agressively.

Finally, in getting a man you must use your will and your wit alone.

Good Luck

The story began yesterday, when i got choir duty in the parish church at Theresia chruch Jakarta.

We just finished singing…and try to gather our equipment,when suddenly i heard a "Happy Birthday" song…i was supprised ? i don’t know it was for me.Then i heard "Happy birthday dear Sondi…..happy birthday to youuu…." Huaaaa i was sooo suprised !!

It was very lovely…and they give me a Very very (did i say very ?) nice present..it’s "Harry Potter and half blood Prince"…..the book i want most….

Than i find love in their eyes (after they give me the book ^_^…nahhhh…it’s just get clearer that way).I feel love…and they are full of it……

Thank you my Immortal Friends….i feel love from all of you.

I cannot describe the feeling but it was a very lovely moment that i will never forget (with a half of the church noticing my birthday….) I am one heaven of a lucky man to have a friends like you all.

When i read my friend esthers blog i was intrigued by her statement "Masa’ nggak boleh berharap untuk orang yang lu cintai? Bukankah mimpi dan harapan yang membuat kita tetap hidup? Gue malah makin nggak ngerti."

"why we cannot give our hope to someone that we love ? Isn’t dreams and hopes that keep us alive ? I just don’t get it"

Sometimes we cannot diffrentiate between hope and expectancies…You expect somene to come at 2 o’clock…bring you flower and candy…but they didn’t show up at all…and you get pissed by their behavior.But when you hope…you cannot  get dissapointed….hope is something higher,doesn’t have a moral issue.

My all time favorite motto is "Hope for the best and always prepare for the worst" so in that kind of attitude you don’t have to loose your grip in life.But, of course as a being (who try to define who he really are) i slip a couple of times (and that’s a good thing),When i make mistake i learn something to perfect my skill in dealing with life.

The secret of my happyness is Love someone unconditionally…my love is free just like God give us air to breath, God didn’t choose who can breath by whether you do good or bad things in life. So i try to make my love FREE for somebody,they don’t have to love me back…they didn’t even have to like me to have my love for them…in that way i can never expect them to react and do something as i want them to be.It’s really hard..but i’m getting better at it why ?because it’s release me from stress,from dissapointment,from anger and it give me a lot of time to fill a happyness in my life.

I learn not to be affraid about loosing them and it set me free…set my heart free.

I enjoy all the small things they give me (even the slighliest smile from their face as i express my love to them is enough for me).How can i do that ? because i set my mental at abundant level (try reading "7 highly effective people" by steven covey).I feel that my love never depleted…because all the people that love me and…God.

Love,especially mine is like a glass and a jar….a glass is myself…a jar is my love.So if i want to love myself i pour my love to my glass (mind you that the jar never be empty)

If i said i love somebody,i pour my love to myself until it was full and the love just out of my glass to other glass….so i will never have an empty glass and my love for others is merely the abundant love from my glass…

also i receive love from other glass….but sometimes they don’t have (or didn’t notice) that they have a jar.So they need other liquid from other glass to make their glass full…if their glass empty (because they give the love liquid to somebody they love) they became sad,self pity and feel useless .Then comes the terms "conditional love" …i give you my love only if you give me yours….(to fill my glass back).

But my glass is always full,and other love that pour on my glass brings another color of my love liquid…so i don’t need anybody to pour their love on me (because my glass is always full) but when they do i become much more colorful (and i thank you for all of you that pour your love on my glass) and i can share more love to other glass for there is no such things as useless love.

My good friend of mine told me this lovely sentences "The seeds that ever been cast will never return for nothing"…that’s why a cast my love to others…even if it doesn’t come back for me, i believe…someone, somewhere will have their love shared…..

"For love is all we are and always will be"

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, as we go our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

-= The Prayer - Michelle Brach and Josh Groban =-

Sometimes it’s hard to see beyond the choice we have to make and it is easier for us to blame others when the consequences from our choices come to challenge us.

I hate when my friends tell me about their problem with their spouse/partner.It’s like they don’t realize the choice they make and the promise they take.I mean somebody doesn’t have to put a gun against their head when they decide to get married rite ?

A lack of understanding from their mind is what cause them to make blow up on the real problem.That’s why they should read "Don’t sweat the small stuff in love" (i’m not into this book thou,but as a matter a fact a lot of couple is..sweating on the small stuff).The bump on the love road is just …a bump.It’s not like a nuclear strike or Carpet bombing.Just undergo the bump…together.The ability to see beyond choices is very necessary to a healthy love life and we can practice it in our personal life (before you involve everybody else in your mess).

So when the tides comes (because the choice you make) you already prepare the boat and the safety jacket.

It take a Heaven of courage to make a decission,but it takes double of the effort to face the consequences. -= Sondi=-

narsis banget yakk

Setelah membaca artikel Ariel Heryanto yang di tulis di Cyber kompas edisi minggu tentang pornografi gue jadi tertarik untuk mengembangkan ide sendiri mengenai bagaimana membuat film porno heheheheheheh…kaga deeeng,maksud gue memaksa otak gue yang kecil ini untuk merenungi subjek ini (it’s tough, since thinking about it doesn’t mean have to fantazise about it,but cannot help it ^_^ ).

Ariel menulis bagaimana sulitnya orang Indonesia mendefinisikan pornografi (Padahal kata porno sendiripun harus kita pinjam dari bahasa asing).

He put an analogy about it, terorism just like pornography.We try to banned them in any aspect (include the law),but they both hard to explain on a lot of case they both only can be define in the mind of who define them,hence diffrent people define diffrent definition (hey it’s rhyming..).Example :for Bush Alqaeda is the terorist,but for Al Qaeda Bush is a terorist.

If kissing and getting naked in public is a crime, how about the fighting and murder scene on the movies ?

Woman become the victim, while men became the watcher (also the victim of their pleasure).

I think we have to devise a new way to learn about sex,about how we celebrate them,how we enjoy them,how we keep them,how we honor and respect them ,how we take them and cherish them as one of God greatest gift.

I still find a lot of people think when we "do it" ,God cannot watch it.But if God is really good as we believe it, i think He (or She) cannot give us the pleasure and taste of sex to lead us all into hell isn’t HE ?

If my mother know that knife is not good for me,she will never give me that knife at the first place right ?

If God give me the Grace of sex…means it can never be something bad for me,rite ?? (naughty thinking but hey..i cannot help it).

Still i believe that sex is an energy, S E X = Synergistic Energy Xchange (from Coversation with God volume 1 -= Neale Donald Walsh =- )

Something that if we do it correctly will create a synergistic energy.

All we have to do is celebrate and embrace them, not to forget honor and respect them.It’s nothing to fear,to banned,to shut for….

Welcome To My Life
Simple Plan ( Album : Unknown )

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
But deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Like All the fans of Starwars always said "Sometimes in life, Sith Happened"

Like every story of my life,i always manage to come out of the rubble and walk again.Sith lord come and go, Alas, a Jedi knight like me have to face them over and over again in many unsuspecting battle and diffrent terrain of this universe.

It’s monday morning about 9 o’clock when i heard a terrible news about one of my errection team (it’s telecomunication tower you pervert !)making a mistake and put all the brazing and the plate in the wrong spot.

My boss tell me that it will make the tower look twisted and we have to dismantle all of it and start again from scratch .It’s a monday jolt allright, did i mention that i hate supprises (specially the bad one) ?

Once again this jedi knight have to call on back up on tatooine or dagobah (manganitu on sangir talaud region for this case).So i called a field supervisor for a clearance on this matter.It appear that it was a false alarm,the damage isn’t that bad and it’s because we have to change the place of our telecommunication shelter.

It’s beyond my ability to control that, beside it’s what the council wants (on this case it’s Siemens problem).I just try to go down with the force and try to configure how am i gonna use my light saber to strike justice in the heart of this mess.

Well, this is a moment in my life ^_^

There are five people you will meet in heaven.This people you have known or maybe you didn’t konw at all but,they life path is cross with your life path at some point.

Five people that change your life in some way.Others will have to die in order for you to live.Some even love you far before you know them (in some way).If there is a pitstop before you go to heaven maybe this is the story of abeautiful pitstop.

Five people who will tell you secrets of your life, to answer the question you left in this world.To make you uderstand the purpose of your life (and theirs).If there is a pitstop between death and Heaven this is the pitstop i wanna be with.

It’s a Beautiful book to read.Make me cry a bit.

When the time comes i hope we are all ready for it.